


I can´t do this anymore...

by Steph_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:34:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22253293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_Winchester/pseuds/Steph_Winchester
Summary: Dean is tired, he needs a change and he needs his angel by his side.Short ficklet
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 5





	I can´t do this anymore...

[ ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8d/25/ed/8d25ed32e8a219dab723b0606484b280.gif)

It was just a standard hunting like all the thousands he had finished before, it was just a milk run two states over. It was just a hotel room like hundreds he had been in before... right? Why was he feeling like this? Why the sudden impulse to cry?

Dean had booked the room, it wasn´t even a super crappy hotel, so compared to other places it was alright, kind of clean-ish. But when Dean, Cass and Sam had entered the room, everything had hit Dean with sheer force. This was it. And even before he could realize what was happening, tears were rolling down his face and Cass was by his side.

“Dean, what is going on?” Cass asked placing a hand over his shoulder

“Are you ok?” asked Sam concerned. Dean Couldn´t talk.

“ He is in pain” said Cass “not physically but his soul is suffering... he is in pain” Hearing how Cass understood his pain made him cry more “Sam can you go for a coffee and give us a minute?” asked Cass, Sam frowned but looked at his brother agreed.

“I will be back in 20” he said “call me if you need anything” and he left the room wondering what was going on with Dean, the hunt had been easy...

“We are alone now Dean, tell me what is hurting you so much” Asked Cass looking him in the eye.

“It is the smell Cass” Dean managed to say

“It smells like a hotel room” he said plainly

“Yes, like a hotel room, I am tired of this. I can´t do this anymore. Go from hotel room to hotel room, the smell, the crappy towels, the stupid noises that remind you in the middle of the night that you are not home, that I have no home!” He said and tried to calm down, he wiped his face and controlled his trembling

“You want to stop hunting” Said Cass “Then we stop”

“That easy right?” Dean joked

“Yeah, Dean. That easy” Cass said firmly and that made Dean look at him wondering

“But what about the people... the monsters will keep coming” said Dean “we can´t leave them”

“We will find another way to help, but maybe it is time to find a home and I don´t mean the bunker, I mean a little house far from everywhere where we can make a home” Cass said

“But wouldn´t like that, he wants to keep hunting” said Dean

“Then it will be just the two of us, Sam can come stay between hunts” said Cass so casually

“Would you stay with me?” Dean asked in wonder

“Of course” said Cass

“Why?” Dean was now fishing for answers and Cass decided that maybe it was time to stop hiding his feelings

“Dean, There is no me if there is no you. Wherever you stay, I will stay by your side in whatever fashion you want me to” Cass then place a hand over Dean´s tight and looked at him in the eye “I love you Dean … I am in love with you and I just want to be by your side”

Dean looked at those eyes, there was pain as if…. As if Cass expected to be rejected. What a stupid idea as in Dean would have ever wanted anybody more that he wants Castiel. But maybe he had been really good at hiding it from Castiel so no wonder the angel is expecting him to barge in with a joke or some stupid denial… Dean knows that chick flics are not his strong point, he always makes an ass of himself and this moment here is way too important to fuck it up.

When Dean mans up to say something and redirects his attention, Cass´s eyes were full of tears and Sam is already entering the room. “It is ok Dean, I understand I am sorry I said too much” said Cass on a whisper and stands up to move away from him.

“Alright … I come back after 20 minutes and now both of you are crying…” said Sam

“20 minutes?” asked Dean, it has really been 20 minutes? “Cass I just need to say something” Dean held Cass by the elbow turning him back again face to face “I am sorry I spaced out for 20 minutes after what you said, you didn´t say too much” his brother and Cass were looking at him expecting more words “I am bad at expressing what I need, I guess it has always been a self defence mechanism, burry feeling and thoughts that hurt me. I can´t continue hunting, I can´t, I hate every hotel room, I hate every bruise and cut, I hate coming back and having to wash the blood and guts from my clothes, I hate the horrible water pressure of the shower… I just want a home. I. am. Done.” Dean expected Sam to try convince him

“I Understand” said Sam with a little side smile “You have done more than enough brother”

“You are not mad? I know you want to hunt…. I will be leaving you by yourself … because Cass is coming with me” Dean said squeezing his hold on Cass a little

“Am I?” asked Cass in wonder turning back towards Dean

“Of course Cass, It wouldn´t feel like a home if I don´t have the man I love by my side” Dean said and it felt like a huge burden had left his chest.

“You love me?” asked Cass in wonder. Dean held Castiel´s hands lovingly in his.

“I do, I love you very much. I think I have loved you for years now but I was too afraid of letting myself have you, only to lose you in a hunt later…but you… you kept coming back to me and I loved you more and more each time…” Dean had more to say but Cass´s lips silence him and he enveloped the angel in his arms while kissing him back.

“Fucking finally!” said Sam making Dean and Cass smile on their kiss.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Dean still not fully believing this was happening

“We will look for a house somewhere” said Cass

“If you want to… you can do that or Dean you can use the one that it is already yours” said Sam

“Mine?” Dean asked confused.

“You never wanted to go but when bobby passed there was a will, I met with his lawyer and he left you his house, the junkyard… everything. And it has been almost ripped to shreds but the land is yours, you can rebuild” said Sam

“He left me his home?” Dean felt his heart squeeze a little

“He loved you, both of you like his children. And he was quite sentimental” said Castiel

“He left me two warehouses full of artifacts and cursed objects” said Sam “He said I was nerdy enough to know what to do with it all. It is all in the bunker now, classified and archived like the men of letters used to do” Sam smiled.

“What do you think Cass?” Asked Dean

“South Dakota it is” said Cass and Dean leaned it to kiss him softly again.

“Alright love birds, I am going to reception to get another room and you two are going to keep it down” said Sam making Dean Blush.

“Is he implying we will have loud sex?” asked Cass making Dean turn even a deeper share of red while Sam left the room laughing out loud. “I guess that will make sense but I have never had sex with a man Dean … I don´t think I would know how to…” Cass whispered looking at the ground. Dean hooked a finger under his chin to make him look at him in the eye.

“Angel, I have never had sex with another man either, so whatever we decide to do, we will do it together, at our own pace. We can go as far as we decide to go and honestly just having you by my side and being able to tell you how I feel and kiss you. That is more than I could dream of” said Dean.

“I fell the same Dean” Castiel kissed him.

“I am exhausted after all this tension, please come to bed with me so we can stay close tonight” asked Dean

“And every night for as long as we have” said Cass and made Dean Smile

“I like that”

Dean and Cass undressed down to their underwear and got in bed, Dean moved until he was the small spoon in Cass´s arms and that felt amazing. Maybe this was how happiness felt like for normal people. He slept well for the first time in years.

Six months later they had rebuilt enough of the house to move in even when the restoration was far from being finished. It turns out Dean as handy with tools and with the knife and gun. Three bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs and a big kitchen, comfy TV room and a bathroom downstairs… all well built over the panic room that Bobby had instead of a basement and that was still intact. Dean and Cass turned it into their safe room and the hunting room, therefore the rest of the house was hunting free. Clean colors and a rustic décor filled the atmosphere, Dean had a home for the first time since he was four and he loved it. Eight months from the starting date they finished the garage out back and Dean could park baby comfortably alongside Cass´s pimpmovile and there was enough space for their fishing gear and all the car tools. They painted the house blue and white and Cass planted nice flowers alongside the front. One day Sam parked out back with a truck and he helped some guys unload a huge barbecue grill that was his housewarming gift to Cass and Dean. It was the star of their back porch. Cass suggested they should invite their friends for a barbecue so they all knew where to find them in case of emergency. So that weekend Jody, Donna, Claire, Charlie, Ash, Benny, Jack, and Garth stopped over to witness the miracle of love.

“Can´t believe they finally got together” said Donna to Jody

“This was long time coming… I haven´t really seen them smile like that ever” she said and Donna nodded in agreement.

“Hello Jody, Hello Donna, thanks for coming” said Castiel approaching them with beers “Please take a beer, do you like the house?” he asked

“It is beautiful Castiel” said Jody

“Almost as beautiful as the couple you and Dean make” said Donna, Jody elbowed her slightly

“I know … it is quite unbelievable” whispered Cass

“When are you going to make an honest man out of Dean?” asked Benny approaching them and palming Cass´s back

“Dean has always been honest” he said seriously not understanding Benny´s suggestion

“No silly” said Charlie joining the conversation “He means when do you plan on asking Dean to marry you” she said and that made Cass panic. Would Dean want that … he can´t do that…

“Do you think that is necessary?” asked Cass

“Of course, it is the way to probe Dean that you are serious about him, the ultimate commitment” said Donna

“Oh … “said Cass now spilling some tears “I can´t do that… but I do love Dean…” Cass was now really really upset and full on having a meltdown. Dean who was by the grill with Sam noticed the group surrounding Cass really fussing around him and he wondered what was going on over there.

“Hey Dean” Said Benny approaching them fast “I think Castiel is upset… I am sorry man I have a big mouth…”

“What have you all done?” said Dean running towards Cass and once he reached the group he saw Cass crying and sobbing. “Sunshine?” asked Dean and approached him “Guys can you gives us some air?” asked Dean and the group stepped back a little. Dean enveloped Cass in his arms and try to calm him but he cried more. “What happened here?” He asked and everyone looked down looking guilty “Talk now!” He demanded.

“I might have suggested that he should propose” Confessed Benny and Dean´s eyebrows shot high with surprise.

“Then Castiel started to cry and he said he couldn´t marry you and got really upset” said Charlie “We tried to calm him down but is inconsolable”

“Hey darling, please look at me” asked Dean and Cass slowly lifted his covered in tears face from his shoulder to look at him. “Why are you so upset?”

“Do you think that marriage is the only way to probe we are serious about each other?” asked Cass

“One of the ways but not necessary the only one Cass, I already know we are serious about each other” answered Dean

“But… but they said that it was something you would want… to get married?” said Cass “I can´t marry you Dean…” Cass stated sadly and Dean was a little taken aback by the confession but felt there was more to the story…

“May I ask why do you think you can´t marry me?” asked Dean

“My wings are burned, useless, there is nothing left for the wedding ceremony Dean… it wouldn’t work” said Cass clearly ashamed of the state of his wings. He saw Sam opening his eyes wide in understanding.

“Sam? Do you mind clarifying it for me?” asked Dean knowing that his brother had deeper understanding of the issue.

“Well when two angels marry, they exchange grace, a grace bond through their wings. It is a sacred ritual. In the case of a human and an angel, his grace and your soul would get intertwined and then you will share a heaven together. I guess that talking about marriage Cass feels that without his wings he can´t marry you…” said Explained and now Dean realize why Cass was so upset

“So we won´t share eternity together… Cass babe you need to calm down sunshine, everything will be alright. Look at me” he asked and Cass obliged “Listen, I love you more than anything in the world, I would like to marry you but not because it is necessary to probe anything, because I love you so much that I want you in all capacities, friend, lover, husband… everything. I am sure we are already soul bonded my love, I know for sure I am not fucking sharing my heaven with any of these fuckers who should have kept their cakeholes’ shut, I only have soul for you” Dean said

“But… the ceremony can´t be done with my broken wings” argued Cass

“Then we will do it the human way, Cass marriage is a happy moment, a public commitment of our love, you gather fiends they witness us exchanging love promises and they eat the food” said Dean

“That is already what is happening today” said Cass confused

“Well, would you marry me Cass” asked Dean who had taken a little box out of his pocket and was going down on one knee. Their friends gasped

“Dean… is this the human way?” Dean nodded and Cass smiled through his tears “Yes!” he said launching himself onto Dean´s arms. Dean kissed him and then placed the ring on his finger.

“When are you getting married” asked Jack excited

“How about now” said a voice from the garden. Everyone turned to see a little arch covered in flowers and Gabriel standing there dressed in a suit

“Gabriel!” said Castiel happily “Brother it is so good to see you”

“Likewise Castiel, I felt something in my heart and I ears dropped a little… so I am here to make sure I can make this union official in heaven and in earth” said Gabriel

“How?” asked Castiel.

“Well, Like this” Gabriel created a ball of energy and pushed it inside Castiel. Castiel shined from inside and suddenly his wings appeared. A huge pair of shiny black wings appeared. “It is taking a lot of energy from me to repair them for a while, it will only last for several hours but it will allow you to marry properly” Gabriel said “Ready?”

“Thanks Gabe” said Dean holding Castiel´s hand but without taking his eyes away from his wings “You are wonderful sunshine, your wings are magnificent”

“Thanks” s blushed furiously. “Dean, I promise that you are the only one, I promise my grace to you for eternity”

“Cass, I promise my soul to you, you are the only one forever Cass” Said Dean

“I Declare you married, please Dean kiss my little brother” Said Gabriel smiling and Dean did just that. “Now Cass, you know what you need to do” Cass nodded and tended his hand to Dean, once their hands were together, they walked towards the house. Cass lured Dean into their bedroom.

“So what now?” asked Dean

“Now we become one and we fuse your soul and my grace” said Cass “I will make love to you and when we climax, I will enveloped you in my wings and one feather will get tattooed into your skin.

While the family ate the barbecue in the backyard, Dean slowly undressed Cass softly caressing his white skin, kissing and licking at his pulse point, passing his hands through his wings making Cass tremble. Cass undressed Dean with hunger, kissing all visible skin until dropping to his knees to lower his underwear only to take his hardened member in his mouth. Dean´s moan ruptured the silence of their bedroom. Cass maneuvered Dean onto the Bed and moved further down between Dean´s legs sucking up his balls and leaving hickies on his inner legs. Then he got bold and decided to lick Dean´s hole and that made his husband crazy.

“Oh fuck babe… that feels wow!” said Dean out of air and blushing like crazy. Cass got the lube from underneath the pillow, lubbed his fingers and started opening Dean with his fingers and tongue. Not even a couple of minutes later, Dean was over Castiel lining himself on his big dick and impaling himself of his husband. “I am going to ride you tonight Cass”

“Oh yes Dean, I love this” Cass moved to kiss him and started moving encompassing Dean´s movements. Groans and moans filled the room. They tried to control their need but soon they were fucking in earnest, it was something out of this world and Cass´s wings started to shine.

“Oh Dean…. I am so close, please babe cum for me, please” Cass begged deliciously. Dean was in ecstasy riding him while kissing Cass and his cock was trapped between them when he felt it, Dean was spilling between them and the moan he led out was so passionate and filthy that Cass couldn´t hold it any more. His wings enveloped Dean and he stilled into his lover cumming and filling him up plenty. Light blinded them both for a second and Cass´s wings were gone.

“Oh Cass, that was fantastic, your wings were perfect. I am sorry you lost them because of me” he whisper

“Oh Dean… what wouldn´t I have given away for you… Losing my wings hurt but having you in my arms has fixed me in ways you cannot understand. We are united for eternity, married here and in heaven. Now we share our home in earth and once our time is up, we will share eternity in heaven” Cass said cuddling Dean

“I love you husband” said Dean kissing him

“I love you husband” said Cass smiling into the kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This work has not been proofed of Beta-ed or anything. None of my works have. English is my third language, if you don´t like it or if you have issues reading through it. Don´t read it, feel free to walk away, no need to post ugly comments below and let me know you will come back once i have become Shakespeare or something... (it has happened more than once).  
Happy 2020


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